New Year, New You? Well...3 Tips to ACTUALLY Make That Happen

We want to be different every year. And frequently we’re usually different than we were before, but not necessarily where we want to be. Maybe it’s weight loss? Maybe it’s a healthier relationship with your partner? Maybe it’s a different job or better education?

Whatever the goal is, the central reason we have a hard time reaching it is because we have a poor relationship with ourselves. We might want to get up at 6am in the morning for that run, or launch into a promotion with the boss, but we don’t because we don’t have a good relationship with ourselves first.

"Your brain doesn’t like fear, at all. So it hamstrings your best efforts for doing the things you want to do to become the person you want to be."

Why is this important? Because doing things we’ve never done before is scary. Even when you want the goal badly, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t fear involved.

And yes you can feel fear about waking up 6am for a run, lol. Will I get up? How out of breathe will I be? Will I be too sore the next day?

You may not even think the thoughts out loud, but that super computer brain of yours is fielding all the data it has to help you make a good decision. And guess what? Your brain doesn’t like fear, at all. So it hamstrings your best efforts for doing the things you want to do to become the person you want to be.

So how do I fix it?

No easy fixes here, I’m afraid to say. But...there are tools at your disposal to help you bypass your brains desire to sabotage you, thinking it’s protecting you. First up...

Acknowledge the fear

You got to know that it’s there. Telling you to procrastinate. Telling you the rational reasons (i.e. they’re usually emotional) to stop and go eat the cookie or not have that confrontational chat you’ve needed to have since forever.

Awareness is the first stop to major transformations in your self. If you don’t know something is there, then you won’t know when it’s slipping you the banana peel. Get woke.

Re-frame the danger

Your brain thinks having that confrontational conversation is scary. It thinks creating and setting healthy boundaries with a friend is terrifying. It thinks eating differently than you have before will make it feel tired, hungry, and irritated.

You need to tell it different. Literally. Say, “Brain you think this keto diet is potentially dangerous, but it’s not.” Soothe your brain, converse with it and let it know that you’re doing a potentially uncomfortable thing so the whole of you feels better in the long run.

Get in touch with those emotions

Since it’s a thought, you might assume your reasons for doing something or not something is rational. It’s not. It’s not like 99% of the time. I used to make this mistake myself. I still do from time to time, but the more aware I get, the more I see how my emotions take charge and tell me it’s rational.

If an activity to change your life ever brings up fear, anger, sadness, negative self talk, humiliation, frustration, annoyance or the like; your mind and body will try to shut it down. So...feel those feels. Again say out loud, “I know you’re (brain/body/self) annoyed by your co-workers consistent disregard to timeliness, and fearful to say anything. But we have to pony up and say this, even if it doesn’t end the way we hoped.”

Acknowledging fear, re-framing the danger, and getting in touch with those rationalizing emotions are going to help you BIG time with becoming who want to become. When you take these 3 tips on and practice them consistently you will come to 2023 and say, “Wow I really am a new me!”

Santee Blakey is a Life Coach and Licensed Massage Therapist at Soul Growth Wellness. When she's not biking, reading, or biking, or reading (she needs new hobbies, suggest her some:-), she'll be writing and enjoying a caramel frappacino in her favorite Starbucks (this is obviously pre-Covid) *sigh*. Follow her on Youtube for her series --> Self Acceptance: What It's Really Like (A Journey).

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